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Channel: Coworker Quotes - funny quotes and innuendos from your office » Miscellaneous Quotery
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Makeup?

“Have you done something different with your eye makeup?” “Yeah, I put some on.”

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“My bracelet has trapped itself to a hole in my laptop causing me literally...

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“What month is the beginning of April?”

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What’s the opposite of a sausage-fest?

COWORKER: “We’re off to the [female only association] Christmas party this year.” WORKER: “That’ll be an anti sausage-fest. What’s the opposite of a sausage-fest?” COWORKER: “A doughnut-fest. No! An...

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He’s an easy one to forget.

WORKER: “Who is the most famous Jew?” COWORKER: “Albert Einstein!” WORKER: “Not Jesus then?”

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“You look nothing like Krusty the Clown. You look more like a Nordic David...

(It was during Movember)

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Graphite?

WORKER: “What’s the word that sounds a little bit like cellulite that you get in tennis rackets?” COWORKER: “Tennis elbow?”

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“It’s really annoying coming in from the freezing cold only to see your...

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“Sorry, I must have misheard you – since my girlfriend moved out I haven’t...

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“My Goldfish died after 24 hours. Must’ve been dodgy”

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